At a wedding I attended many years back, the minister addressed the friends and family and spent a few minutes explaining the importance of us being there.
The relationship being sealed that day didn’t involve just the two people, he explained, but included the extended community - us. It was our responsibility to nurture and support the couple and their relationship. We were not spectators but participants.
This really resonated with me and to this day, I take that role seriously.
That's the religious ceremony though, not the celebration in a huge hotel ballroom (do people call that the reception?). I can't say I agree with the minister's words, but I do see the point in the religious ceremony. It's the huge extravagant receptions that I really don't understand the purpose of. Thoughts?
I think they serve a similar purpose. Not that everyone is operating with the same purpose necessarily, but the gathering of people is an expression of community coming together to celebrate the relationship and become part of the fabric that supports it.
Hmm... interesting. We have very different views of relationships and the role of the community. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum where I see the relationship as completely sealed off from other people and shouldn't require the community's support. I can see your point of view though and it's nice if people who attend the wedding think in the same way.
How would a relationship be sealed off from other people? As social beings, our relationships are a web of interconnections. We are shaped and influenced by the relationships we have and those shape other relationships we have.
I guess I was thinking of it more in terms of direct interaction. I wouldn't be asking for someone else's input on my relationship with my partner, and wouldn't offer my opinion on someone else's relationship with their partner. What I decide to do and say with regards to my partner is entirely my own decision, or a mutual decision with my partner.
You put all of my wedding feelings into a much more coherent argument. Thank you.
I got married last month. We reserved a small room at our favorite restaurant, invited our parents/siblings/grandparents, said our vows, and ate great food. The next night, we had 15 friends join us at Olive Garden. It was perfect.
Our parents want to throw us a huge reception, because ~that’s what you do~ but I will never comprehend why you need 200 distant relatives--who you only see at weddings and funerals--to be there to wish you well.
Hi Ashley, I'm glad the post resonates! And that sounds like a very lovely celebration you had with friends. Did your parents tell you why they want to throw the reception? I wonder if this is a generational thing...
At a wedding I attended many years back, the minister addressed the friends and family and spent a few minutes explaining the importance of us being there.
The relationship being sealed that day didn’t involve just the two people, he explained, but included the extended community - us. It was our responsibility to nurture and support the couple and their relationship. We were not spectators but participants.
This really resonated with me and to this day, I take that role seriously.
That's the religious ceremony though, not the celebration in a huge hotel ballroom (do people call that the reception?). I can't say I agree with the minister's words, but I do see the point in the religious ceremony. It's the huge extravagant receptions that I really don't understand the purpose of. Thoughts?
I think they serve a similar purpose. Not that everyone is operating with the same purpose necessarily, but the gathering of people is an expression of community coming together to celebrate the relationship and become part of the fabric that supports it.
Hmm... interesting. We have very different views of relationships and the role of the community. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum where I see the relationship as completely sealed off from other people and shouldn't require the community's support. I can see your point of view though and it's nice if people who attend the wedding think in the same way.
How would a relationship be sealed off from other people? As social beings, our relationships are a web of interconnections. We are shaped and influenced by the relationships we have and those shape other relationships we have.
I guess I was thinking of it more in terms of direct interaction. I wouldn't be asking for someone else's input on my relationship with my partner, and wouldn't offer my opinion on someone else's relationship with their partner. What I decide to do and say with regards to my partner is entirely my own decision, or a mutual decision with my partner.
You put all of my wedding feelings into a much more coherent argument. Thank you.
I got married last month. We reserved a small room at our favorite restaurant, invited our parents/siblings/grandparents, said our vows, and ate great food. The next night, we had 15 friends join us at Olive Garden. It was perfect.
Our parents want to throw us a huge reception, because ~that’s what you do~ but I will never comprehend why you need 200 distant relatives--who you only see at weddings and funerals--to be there to wish you well.
Hi Ashley, I'm glad the post resonates! And that sounds like a very lovely celebration you had with friends. Did your parents tell you why they want to throw the reception? I wonder if this is a generational thing...
One part is *for sure* that they’re returning on their investment of wedding gifts to all the family over the years. Via gifts to me. Lol.
But other than that, it’s the “it’s just what you do” factor.
Oh wow. I hadn't even seen that aspect of it. I guess that's one way to look at it. It makes me dislike extravagant weddings even more now lol.