I resonate deeply with this. I don't want children either. I think even if I become financially abundant, I would rather become a mentor to kids than being a mother. The emotional and psychological well-being of a child is not something that should be taken lightly. I might sound a little harsh, but I really think a lot of people don't consider that before they decide to have children. Some people are just incapable of reflecting a child's emotional needs because they have not worked on many difficult aspects of their personality and that is just a fact. If they eventually fail to realize the emotional needs of the kid, then the child grows up with a broken self-image. Needless to say a lot of people after growing up rely on addiction as a way to validate their existence. I appreciate your awareness and decision of not having kids when you know for sure you are not ready for this lifelong responsibility.
Sorry deleted the previous comment because I made some type :)
Haha them sneaky typos! Thanks for sharing your thoughts Swarnali. Yes I share your perception that some people don't think through the consequences of their decision to have children. It's such an expected act in society: get married, have kids, buy a house, that I suspect many people undertake it in semi-automatic mode. Which I think is crazy and extremely harmful to themselves, the child, and society.
I feel you on this and all your reasons. Growing up, I've never seen the appeal of children. I think because I'm also an only child, I also didn't really have contact with "kids". Now that I'm older, I see the appeal of having children and I get why people would want to. But I think like you, I value my freedom and finances more. Maybe that will change - who knows - but this is where I am right now!
Hey, I'm an only child too! Maybe there's something in that. I'm pretty much still where I was when I wrote this post, but never say never! Maybe one day I will change and feel a biological/emotional desire to have children. But then at that point I and my partner will also have to look at whether it's feasible financially. Lots of considerations involved!
I don’t want kids as well and the reasons are the same with you especially the 2nd reason. Taking care of some one you love whos part of your life does gain all my concerns to them and I’m not happy with that 🤣
For me, I want kids just because the world is too beautiful to keep it with myself alone. But I never judge or comment on people who do not want kids. It is a lot of responsibilities. I'm even okay with adoptions since there are many orphanages in this world already. And yes, still people got scared of it. Once I got commented that I am fine with adoptions because I wanted to keep my body shape. wth.. (facepalm)
Facepalm indeed! Thanks for sharing your perspective. I don't think I've heard that as a reason to want kids before. Speaking of adoption, it's something I can get behind a lot more (compared to having a kid of your own) because if you're happy to shoulder that responsibility, I think it's a great act of kindness toward another human being (the child who would have had no family to grow up in).
Children are indeed expensive, but there are far more important things in this world than money. The parent-child bond is one of them......Children are indeed a huge responsibility, but with huge responsibility comes huge reward. There is nothing which compares to the feeling of just watching your child smile, its priceless......Children do limit freedom, but they also expand the emotional highs & lows of life on planet Earth....Of course, as a parent, I am biased. Enjoy your blog very much...
I can see how the parent-child bond could be something so precious as to make it all worthwhile, and I've been told so by a friend who's a parent (and now yourself) as well. It just seems to me like a leap of faith to commit without knowing if you will indeed feel that bond. And I do wonder if some people don't feel it. I guess I'm speaking as someone who's never felt the urge to have a child, and maybe one day I /will/ feel that urge be it for biological or psychological reasons. Thank you for sharing and glad you enjoy my blog! Feel free to request my thoughts on any topics you'd like to see me write about.
Everyone who has children, has told me that something changes in the process of being a parent, that you can't appreciate until you have had that experience. So I guess the challenge is, for any of us saying we don't want to have children, we are missing the crucial information that would let us truly make a well-informed decision. Of course, it isn't such a good idea to have children and then make the well-informed decision afterwards that you don't want them.
That's fair and I've heard the same from parents I know. What I'm trying to understand is why someone would have the drive to have children in the first place given the many practical reasons against it, and why it's what society expects of couples. To me, having children should be the exception rather than the norm. I wonder if it's some biological drive that kicks in for the survival of the species. My suspicion is many just have kids because it's the expected thing to do (get married, have kids, buy a house) without really considering it logically. Which I think is a problem.
Oh, of course it is biological. Every living organism has one primary drive: to reproduce. If they didn't have that drive, the species would have died out even before getting to the second generation!
I resonate deeply with this. I don't want children either. I think even if I become financially abundant, I would rather become a mentor to kids than being a mother. The emotional and psychological well-being of a child is not something that should be taken lightly. I might sound a little harsh, but I really think a lot of people don't consider that before they decide to have children. Some people are just incapable of reflecting a child's emotional needs because they have not worked on many difficult aspects of their personality and that is just a fact. If they eventually fail to realize the emotional needs of the kid, then the child grows up with a broken self-image. Needless to say a lot of people after growing up rely on addiction as a way to validate their existence. I appreciate your awareness and decision of not having kids when you know for sure you are not ready for this lifelong responsibility.
Sorry deleted the previous comment because I made some type :)
*typos haha :D , I again made a typo :D
Haha them sneaky typos! Thanks for sharing your thoughts Swarnali. Yes I share your perception that some people don't think through the consequences of their decision to have children. It's such an expected act in society: get married, have kids, buy a house, that I suspect many people undertake it in semi-automatic mode. Which I think is crazy and extremely harmful to themselves, the child, and society.
I feel you on this and all your reasons. Growing up, I've never seen the appeal of children. I think because I'm also an only child, I also didn't really have contact with "kids". Now that I'm older, I see the appeal of having children and I get why people would want to. But I think like you, I value my freedom and finances more. Maybe that will change - who knows - but this is where I am right now!
Hey, I'm an only child too! Maybe there's something in that. I'm pretty much still where I was when I wrote this post, but never say never! Maybe one day I will change and feel a biological/emotional desire to have children. But then at that point I and my partner will also have to look at whether it's feasible financially. Lots of considerations involved!
I don’t want kids as well and the reasons are the same with you especially the 2nd reason. Taking care of some one you love whos part of your life does gain all my concerns to them and I’m not happy with that 🤣
Haha, it's a lot of responsibilities! My respects to those who are happy to shoulder it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)
For me, I want kids just because the world is too beautiful to keep it with myself alone. But I never judge or comment on people who do not want kids. It is a lot of responsibilities. I'm even okay with adoptions since there are many orphanages in this world already. And yes, still people got scared of it. Once I got commented that I am fine with adoptions because I wanted to keep my body shape. wth.. (facepalm)
Facepalm indeed! Thanks for sharing your perspective. I don't think I've heard that as a reason to want kids before. Speaking of adoption, it's something I can get behind a lot more (compared to having a kid of your own) because if you're happy to shoulder that responsibility, I think it's a great act of kindness toward another human being (the child who would have had no family to grow up in).
Yes, it's a weird reason, lol. I just like a quote from "Into the Wild" movie, "Happiness is real when shared." :)
Children are indeed expensive, but there are far more important things in this world than money. The parent-child bond is one of them......Children are indeed a huge responsibility, but with huge responsibility comes huge reward. There is nothing which compares to the feeling of just watching your child smile, its priceless......Children do limit freedom, but they also expand the emotional highs & lows of life on planet Earth....Of course, as a parent, I am biased. Enjoy your blog very much...
I can see how the parent-child bond could be something so precious as to make it all worthwhile, and I've been told so by a friend who's a parent (and now yourself) as well. It just seems to me like a leap of faith to commit without knowing if you will indeed feel that bond. And I do wonder if some people don't feel it. I guess I'm speaking as someone who's never felt the urge to have a child, and maybe one day I /will/ feel that urge be it for biological or psychological reasons. Thank you for sharing and glad you enjoy my blog! Feel free to request my thoughts on any topics you'd like to see me write about.
Everyone who has children, has told me that something changes in the process of being a parent, that you can't appreciate until you have had that experience. So I guess the challenge is, for any of us saying we don't want to have children, we are missing the crucial information that would let us truly make a well-informed decision. Of course, it isn't such a good idea to have children and then make the well-informed decision afterwards that you don't want them.
That's fair and I've heard the same from parents I know. What I'm trying to understand is why someone would have the drive to have children in the first place given the many practical reasons against it, and why it's what society expects of couples. To me, having children should be the exception rather than the norm. I wonder if it's some biological drive that kicks in for the survival of the species. My suspicion is many just have kids because it's the expected thing to do (get married, have kids, buy a house) without really considering it logically. Which I think is a problem.
Oh, of course it is biological. Every living organism has one primary drive: to reproduce. If they didn't have that drive, the species would have died out even before getting to the second generation!