Use your core

The most unhelpful helpful advice

For years, I couldn’t get on motorbikes.

Each time a rider pulled up, in one sweeping glance I’d assess my chance of failure: has he parked too close the curb, what’s the height of his bike, how fat is it, does it have that sharp bit sticking out from the seat that leaves a nasty bruise if you don’t swing your leg clear?

Then I’d brace myself, lift my leg as high as I could, and hope for the best.

Usually, with great difficulty, I managed. The bike teetering from the momentum of my botched mount. Driver’s disapproving exhale.

But no longer. These days, I mount with pride. Swinging my leg in a graceful arc and landing perfectly on the seat: control and poise.

You know how?

I use my core.

Use your core

For years, I struggled to mount motorbikes of all shapes and sizes not because I didn’t know how or lacked practice, but because I had no core strength.

Simple as that.

My absentee core impeded me in all situations. Not only could I not get on motorbikes, I couldn’t stay on them without holding on (to that sharp bit at the edge of the seat) for dear life. I couldn’t sit up without using my arms, struggled to hold yoga poses, probably also didn’t walk or sit straight.

It was only after months of weight lifting, a recent exercise regime, that I finally built the core strength that then enabled me to do all these things I didn’t even realise I couldn’t do for three and a half decades.

With my new-found core, motorbike rides are now unbridled joy. The taller the bike that pulls up, the greater my relish of the challenge to mount it perfectly. Then, through the entire journey of sudden stops and tight turns as we zip in and out of Ho Chi Minh City traffic, I’m unabashedly beaming—back straight, core engaged, no hands.

No more holding on for dear life for this passenger.

The most unhelpful helpful advice

So when, the other day, someone asked in a Facebook group how to get on and off motorbikes with grace, I immediately thought: core. And sure enough, as I scrolled through the answers, a helpful person had said, correctly: Use your core.

But here’s the problem.

“Use your core” means nothing to someone who has no core.

I’d know. I was that person.

For years, fitness instructors told me to “use my core” for sit-ups. But because I didn’t have the core strength to pull myself up, I couldn’t begin to imagine what “use my core” would constitute, so I used the only other muscle available: my neck.

For years, I did sit-ups with my neck. Which sounds ridiculous. But it’s what you do when you have no idea how to use your nonexistent core.

And even now that I do have a core and know how to use it for things like sit-ups and yoga and motorbiking in style, I still can’t use it in contexts that are new to me. More than once, my Pole Dancing teacher has said, “engage your core!” while teaching me a new trick. And so I hold on to the pole a bit tighter and sometimes manage, but I’m not using my core.

Because I don’t know how to.

Not using my core

Still not using my core

Yet. I don’t yet know how to use my core in Pole. In time, I’ll learn.

But this is the great catch-22 of life:

You don’t know how to do something… until you do.

You don’t know how to use your core… until you do. You don’t know how to work out regularly… until you do. You don’t know how to eat healthy… until you do. You don’t know how to draw boundaries that protect your time… until you do. You don’t know how to love yourself… until you do.

No helpful life advice, even if true, could ever help those who need it most.

Because you just don’t know… until you do.

What do you think?

It’s a mind[bleeped], I know.

What did you not know how to do… until you did?

For me, the core comes first. Then there’s asking for help, saying “no,” and all those other things you’re supposed to do to stay healthy in body and mind. I didn’t know how to do any of that… until I did.

Please hit “reply” or leave a comment—I read every response and I’d love to hear from you. If you want, share this post with someone who keeps bruising their leg on that sharp bit at the edge of the motorbike seat so they know, um, to use their core.

We’re currently on an every-other-week schedule, so I’ll see you in two weeks… In the meantime, stay thoughtful, and remember to engage your core,

Val