“What would it look like if you were wrong?” is such a great question.
Nuance I’d add here is ‘Can you explain where this belief comes from for you?’ It’s a sideways door into ‘Did you choose this belief, through trial and error, through testing and work?’ or ‘Was it downloaded onto you and into you through the invisible stories of parents, teachers, friends, society, etc.?’
I’m a big fan of two seemingly contradictory views: 1) it’s good to have strong opinions, loosely held, especially when you’ve done the work to build those opinions.
And 2) when encountering a view I don’t agree with, can I sidestep the confrontation and instead understand their perspective so well that I can articulate it better than they can? (This is a work in progress and I forget my own rule a lot in debates with people). Can I meet disagreement with curiosity to find the even 1% shift or refinement to my beliefs?
Fascinating how your escalator ride mirrors the way travel reshapes us: you step on thinking you know the direction, only to arrive at a higher floor with a completely different view. What struck me is how much your shift echoed the pilgrim’s lesson—there’s no single “right path,” only the one that humbles you enough to see another’s. Boundaries, no boundaries… maybe it’s less about drawing lines than learning where they blur.
Love this! Thank you so much Dave for reading and sharing your thoughts. And so true about boundaries. Every day I am learning where my lines blur in all aspects of my life, while still keeping to the lines that matter.
That is incredible entry here Val. I think, we generally come up with these ideas and set ways, purely out of experiences we face. But, the other side to this is that, we think, just because we faced hard experiences, we know better than everyone else. Only after growing up and really understanding that, just like you, others have had harsh experiences too, which shaped them "differently", is when we realize that, there is no one RIGHT way.
Fascinating post. It encapsulates the idea in the communication model: we each walk around in bubbles, convinced that our way of viewing the world is right.
There is a critique of liberalism that it is moral relativism and that there indeed are morally superior positions, that there is a “right right”.
The point of view you started with was implicit solipsism (your views about boundaries implied that your own mind was the universal standard). The new view overcame that implicit solipsism. But if you try to make that new view a universal standard (everyone should think this way), it'll just be a new solipsism.
Yes, that is a very good point! You're not the first person who has raised this and I've been having many brain melts post-sending this newsletter. So much to think through and make up my mind about. Thank you for reading and for subscribing also. 🙌
I love today's post, Val! Mainly cause in my younger years I thought my way was right. Don't get me wrong, I understood nuance and differing views, but it was hard to truly take that on board.
Obviously, I still think my way is the right way (how could I not, because then I feel like I would be living the wrong life), but now I'm actively keen to see things from a different point of view.
Some POVs are simply wrong though, and it doesn't matter if the excuse is that that is simply how they were raised and what they believe.
Thanks Patrik for reading! And sharing your thoughts. I'm trying to get better at seeing the world in shades of grey, as opposed to "this is right" and "this is wrong." Shifting my focus from determining who's correct to being curious about where different POVs come from and finding common ground.
“What would it look like if you were wrong?” is such a great question.
Nuance I’d add here is ‘Can you explain where this belief comes from for you?’ It’s a sideways door into ‘Did you choose this belief, through trial and error, through testing and work?’ or ‘Was it downloaded onto you and into you through the invisible stories of parents, teachers, friends, society, etc.?’
I’m a big fan of two seemingly contradictory views: 1) it’s good to have strong opinions, loosely held, especially when you’ve done the work to build those opinions.
And 2) when encountering a view I don’t agree with, can I sidestep the confrontation and instead understand their perspective so well that I can articulate it better than they can? (This is a work in progress and I forget my own rule a lot in debates with people). Can I meet disagreement with curiosity to find the even 1% shift or refinement to my beliefs?
YES! I am all for strong opinions, loosely held. And love your views and don't think they're contradictory at all.
Fascinating how your escalator ride mirrors the way travel reshapes us: you step on thinking you know the direction, only to arrive at a higher floor with a completely different view. What struck me is how much your shift echoed the pilgrim’s lesson—there’s no single “right path,” only the one that humbles you enough to see another’s. Boundaries, no boundaries… maybe it’s less about drawing lines than learning where they blur.
Love this! Thank you so much Dave for reading and sharing your thoughts. And so true about boundaries. Every day I am learning where my lines blur in all aspects of my life, while still keeping to the lines that matter.
That is incredible entry here Val. I think, we generally come up with these ideas and set ways, purely out of experiences we face. But, the other side to this is that, we think, just because we faced hard experiences, we know better than everyone else. Only after growing up and really understanding that, just like you, others have had harsh experiences too, which shaped them "differently", is when we realize that, there is no one RIGHT way.
Yes! We are so cloistered each of us and our view becomes the dominant way we view the world.
Fascinating post. It encapsulates the idea in the communication model: we each walk around in bubbles, convinced that our way of viewing the world is right.
There is a critique of liberalism that it is moral relativism and that there indeed are morally superior positions, that there is a “right right”.
That is a whole other post. 😄 Thank you Chris for reading! And for sharing your thoughts.
The point of view you started with was implicit solipsism (your views about boundaries implied that your own mind was the universal standard). The new view overcame that implicit solipsism. But if you try to make that new view a universal standard (everyone should think this way), it'll just be a new solipsism.
Yes, that is a very good point! You're not the first person who has raised this and I've been having many brain melts post-sending this newsletter. So much to think through and make up my mind about. Thank you for reading and for subscribing also. 🙌
I love today's post, Val! Mainly cause in my younger years I thought my way was right. Don't get me wrong, I understood nuance and differing views, but it was hard to truly take that on board.
Obviously, I still think my way is the right way (how could I not, because then I feel like I would be living the wrong life), but now I'm actively keen to see things from a different point of view.
Some POVs are simply wrong though, and it doesn't matter if the excuse is that that is simply how they were raised and what they believe.
Thanks Patrik for reading! And sharing your thoughts. I'm trying to get better at seeing the world in shades of grey, as opposed to "this is right" and "this is wrong." Shifting my focus from determining who's correct to being curious about where different POVs come from and finding common ground.