Meditation Changed My Life

And it can change yours too.

For the longest time, the art of meditation eluded me.

Growing up, I’d been forced to meditate at school—five minutes here, ten minutes there—but without any proper instructions it was basically an exercise in fidgeting as discreetly as possible.

As an adult, I crossed paths with meditation again when I was under treatment for bipolar disorder in a psychiatric hospital a few years back. I’d been there for over a month when my doctor began prescribing “meditation therapy” or some such. This also became an exercise in fidgeting, though with the effects of medication (which made it hard for me to keep still) my fidgeting expanded to include getting up and pacing around the room.

Both encounters with meditation yielded no tangible benefits, so I continued to turn my nose up at the practice. I didn’t question it could help people, but I came to believe it was an esoteric practice that wasn’t for everyone, certainly not for me.

This belief got turned on its head in March 2020. At the time I was working at a travel tech company, and for months my boss had been gently yet persistently encouraging me to try meditation. She was well aware that I found it difficult to switch off from work, a trait she recognised in her younger, pre-meditation self. So she was insistent that I take up the practice.

Her nudges went unheeded until one day I attended a workshop about changing habits. One of the tips the speaker gave was: start small. Asked to share what habit we’d each like to start, I stood up and proudly announced to the room that I would start the habit of meditation by, that very day, downloading the meditation app Headspace my boss had recommended.

I downloaded the app as promised, and for the next day did nothing more than explore what was on offer.

Around that time, another event occurred which increased my resolve to begin meditation: my partner pointed out to me during a phone conversation that I lacked head space.

He astutely observed that I strove to always be doing something. If not work, then teaching, or translating subtitles, or reading, or watching series. I always filled my head with stuff and rarely did I let my mind rest in emptiness, in space.

This was very true, and until that fateful conversation had never been pointed out to me. I was dumbstruck. I heartily agreed that things needed to change, that I needed to give myself head space. And where better to do that than, you guessed it, Headspace the app.

So I committed myself to a small practice each day. Headspace has a free ten-session beginner’s course which you could try out before signing up (and paying) for the app. You could choose how long you wanted each session to be. I began with three minutes, then five, then ten.

The first few times I tried it, I was amazed how quickly three minutes passed. I sat down, closed my eyes, took some breaths, then voila, the three minutes were over. So I started meditating for five, then ten.

Having finished the course and decided meditation wasn’t so bad after all, I signed up to the full range of courses Headspace had to offer and began a daily practice, sometimes meditating for as long as 20 minutes.

And though some days I had to force myself to sit down and press “begin,” never did it not feel good once I started. Every meditation brought the much-needed head space, the calmness, the stillness that recharges and focuses me on what truly matters. Every meditation left me feeling better, grounded, less hassled.

That’s not all. Around the same time I began meditating, I had the double epiphanies that life would be much better if I a) stopped multitasking and b) started being intentional about things.

I’m not sure to what extent these revelations can be attributed to my nascent meditation practice, but it was around that time that I had these thoughts.

Immediately, I acted on them.

First, I became conscious of the many instances I multi-tasked without thinking. I’d be walking on the street, on my way to walk, a podcast playing in my ears, when I’d pick up my phone to enter the calories of the food I’d eaten that morning. I’d realise I was doing this, then stop and put the phone away. I was already multi-tasking: walking and listening to a podcast. Why was I adding to the burden of my attentional energy by inputting things on my phone as well? Calorie counting could wait.

Indeed, I even started walking without my headphones on and discovered how pleasant the experience of simply walking is. You start noticing all the people around you, the sights and sounds. You become one with your environment. It’s a strangely meditative and calming experience. You should try it some time.

As for being more intentional about things, the first thing I tackled was my compulsion to be on social media.

For years I’d slid into the habit of absentmindedly pulling up Facebook or Instagram and then proceeding to spend the next half hour to an hour scrolling aimlessly, then feeling shit about it afterwards.

I began to catch myself as I pulled up Facebook/Instagram. Then I’d ask myself if I truly wanted to see what was happening in the social media world. If the answer was yes, I’d proceed, stopping when I felt I’d had my fill. If the answer was no, I was simply bored and had nothing to do, then I’d put my phone away and go do something else.

Not only did this lead to me spending less time on the platforms, but also—and more importantly—I began to not feel bad about being on them. Being intentional about checking my Facebook/Instagram turned that into a meaningful activity that I consciously choose, rather than a time waster. Psychologically, it put me in a much better place.

As I said, it’s impossible to untangle the extent to which meditation is responsible for these two shifts in behavior. But I don’t doubt it had something to do with it.

It’s been over a year now that I’ve consistently meditated. I usually do it daily, though occasionally I fall off the wagon and the practice becomes more sporadic. But, without fail, I always get back to it. If I’d gone a few days without, I’d actively miss it. I could feel my mind getting busier, myself feeling more hassled. Then I’d get those 10/15/20 minutes in and be back to my calmer, grounded self, regaining the clarity on whatever topics were on my mind.

A few months back, I stopped using Headspace and started using Sam Harris’ Waking Up app. It was suggested to me as a more advanced meditation app for those who want to deepen their practice.

Having used it for a few months now, I think that’s a fair assessment. Though there’s nothing stopping complete beginners from using it either. It’s probably more a matter of preference than ability—try the free section of a few different apps (there’s also Calm) and see which approach engages you most.

So there’s my love letter to meditation. I am a true convert, and happy to be.

How about you? Do you meditate? Would you care to start?

Leave a comment, reply to this email. Whatever floats your boat, I’m waiting to hear from you.

Until next Friday… Stay cool, stay safe, stay thoughtful,

Val