I also subscribe to Mark’s “suffering we choose” philosophy and it was pivotal in my choice to quit law and pursue fiction writing. I can see how that paradigm could get lost when success finds you. Thanks for the reminder to focus on process and the fact of doing rather than the result.
Loved reading this! I’ve been writing for quite some years now because I’ve always wanted to write. When I put out my first German blogpost two years ago and then through that landed a monthly column in a German magazine, the response was great, overwhelming. After the positive feedback slowly withdrew, the motivation to write my blogposts also faded. Who did I write for anyway? Nobody was interested ins anything I had to say, right? So why make the effort if there was no response? At the same time, the motivation to finish writing my novel that I had been working on for quite some years faded gradually, too.
I didn’t even realise what had been happening until I was reminded to try and write for writing‘s sake, not for the feedback. Because writing is what o wanna do more than anything, it’s what I enjoy. Also I’ve been told, if you’re not your biggest fan promoting all of the pieces you write, why should others?
So that really led me back to my purpose. Be my own biggest fan, do it to do it.
Tiny steps, but I’m getting there. So I see what you did there… thanks for the reminder. “Be the outcome“ is probably one of the most important writing advice ever.
Thank you Kim for reading and sharing your experience! I fall in and out of love with writing regularly, and each time I fall out of love it's always because I'm discouraged by the lack of response. So I'm now having to remind myself what I do it all for, writing for the sake of expressing myself and becoming a better writer.
Oh I love that you call it falling in and out of love again and again – never seen it that way. But what a beautiful journey, to uncover all these layers of what drives us and our passion 🩷
I actually had to read this twice in different days to help me remind myself with where I'm at emotionally.
Like you, I've also lost my way. But instead of results and validation, it's from expectations. The voices of myself or even from the environment that shapes my lens on what the destination should be.
But reading this reassure me by adding fuel to where I'm already heading with less hesitation.
I like to focus on the process of creating something I want to see in the world and something that could work for me.
It has always been my driving force which makes me hungry for more and create more. I'm unfazed for results or validation when I want that vision of my goal to happen.
It can be applied in different areas as well. Which has worked wonderfully in pursuing and investing in my love life, which is my first dream. And finding myself or my purpose, which is my second dream.
The internal process that moves us is so valuable that we have to cherish and protect. As it can continuously ignite our life force to fulfilment and happiness. But it can also be washed away by the waves of society and time...
Thank you, Val. I sense I was destined to read this as I untangle myself from my own detour. I started writing 20 years ago with a blog. I loved it, and after experiencing an awakening of sorts, I started writing another blog, which is now over 19 years old. I remember saying I loved writing even when I ‘only’ had a handful of readers.
But I, too, got lost along the way. I still wrote, still created, but my original why got muddled with validation and, yes, sometimes pursuing it. And it’s caused a lot of disillusionment, paralysis and self-doubt at times. Thank you for being a light that I just came across ❤️
Thank you so much Natalie for your kind words and for reading my writing! I'm glad my message resonated. It's so important to remind ourselves of the "why" of it all. I wish you the best on your writing journey. 😊
Sometimes the things we aim for don’t end up being exactly like how they were in our heads. This can cause stress and make us feeling we’re failing, when we’re just on a long road. I think the key is to just stick to it and eventually something will come around, or you’ll find more strength within yourself that you were aware of. ❤️
And sometimes what we don't aim for end up happening! Ironically this post has blown up somewhat and delivered all the results I was writing about not hoping for. 😆 I am now trying to enjoy the success of the post, while again not forgetting it's all about continuing down that long road!
Be the change you want to see is, I think, the same great advice and I love that I’ve just stumbled upon your reminder today.
I’ve just joined Substack, I’m a bit lost and unsure. I’m not getting much feedback, but don’t feel that I should ask for subscribers. I think they need to find me and vice versa.
A friend, who I’d asked for some editing advice a while back, returned my piece with, “not for me, but I’m sure you’ll find your audience.”
It could just be the same craving for validation; to find out I was right to do it my way, but that still feels more honest. It is my journey, after all.
Hi Stephen, welcome to Substack! I've been around 3.5 years and most days I still don't know what I'm doing. Best of luck and enjoy being the change you want to see.
If you're being “called” by something—then it exists and is calling out to you - what a perfect way to put it. That’s exactly how I felt in November 2023 when the idea for the Slash Career newsletter came to me. It felt so vivid, so powerful, there was no way I could ignore it.
Great post! I’m writing about helping those in difficult family business situations and have had similar moments of spiraling and being lost.
It’s hard not to chase the dopamine that comes from social validation. I’ve found it best to block out the social metrics to resist the temptation (I.e. remove the mirror in the gym).
I also subscribe to Mark’s “suffering we choose” philosophy and it was pivotal in my choice to quit law and pursue fiction writing. I can see how that paradigm could get lost when success finds you. Thanks for the reminder to focus on process and the fact of doing rather than the result.
Thank you Noor for reading and for sharing the struggle you choose! I hope you're having fun on your journey of fiction writing.
Loved reading this! I’ve been writing for quite some years now because I’ve always wanted to write. When I put out my first German blogpost two years ago and then through that landed a monthly column in a German magazine, the response was great, overwhelming. After the positive feedback slowly withdrew, the motivation to write my blogposts also faded. Who did I write for anyway? Nobody was interested ins anything I had to say, right? So why make the effort if there was no response? At the same time, the motivation to finish writing my novel that I had been working on for quite some years faded gradually, too.
I didn’t even realise what had been happening until I was reminded to try and write for writing‘s sake, not for the feedback. Because writing is what o wanna do more than anything, it’s what I enjoy. Also I’ve been told, if you’re not your biggest fan promoting all of the pieces you write, why should others?
So that really led me back to my purpose. Be my own biggest fan, do it to do it.
Tiny steps, but I’m getting there. So I see what you did there… thanks for the reminder. “Be the outcome“ is probably one of the most important writing advice ever.
Thank you Kim for reading and sharing your experience! I fall in and out of love with writing regularly, and each time I fall out of love it's always because I'm discouraged by the lack of response. So I'm now having to remind myself what I do it all for, writing for the sake of expressing myself and becoming a better writer.
Oh I love that you call it falling in and out of love again and again – never seen it that way. But what a beautiful journey, to uncover all these layers of what drives us and our passion 🩷
I actually had to read this twice in different days to help me remind myself with where I'm at emotionally.
Like you, I've also lost my way. But instead of results and validation, it's from expectations. The voices of myself or even from the environment that shapes my lens on what the destination should be.
But reading this reassure me by adding fuel to where I'm already heading with less hesitation.
I like to focus on the process of creating something I want to see in the world and something that could work for me.
It has always been my driving force which makes me hungry for more and create more. I'm unfazed for results or validation when I want that vision of my goal to happen.
It can be applied in different areas as well. Which has worked wonderfully in pursuing and investing in my love life, which is my first dream. And finding myself or my purpose, which is my second dream.
The internal process that moves us is so valuable that we have to cherish and protect. As it can continuously ignite our life force to fulfilment and happiness. But it can also be washed away by the waves of society and time...
I look forward to seeing your creation of what you want to see in the world! Let me know how I can best support you.
Thank you, Val. I sense I was destined to read this as I untangle myself from my own detour. I started writing 20 years ago with a blog. I loved it, and after experiencing an awakening of sorts, I started writing another blog, which is now over 19 years old. I remember saying I loved writing even when I ‘only’ had a handful of readers.
But I, too, got lost along the way. I still wrote, still created, but my original why got muddled with validation and, yes, sometimes pursuing it. And it’s caused a lot of disillusionment, paralysis and self-doubt at times. Thank you for being a light that I just came across ❤️
Thank you so much Natalie for your kind words and for reading my writing! I'm glad my message resonated. It's so important to remind ourselves of the "why" of it all. I wish you the best on your writing journey. 😊
You gotta love a good redditor (or two)! So glad you found your way back!
Sometimes the things we aim for don’t end up being exactly like how they were in our heads. This can cause stress and make us feeling we’re failing, when we’re just on a long road. I think the key is to just stick to it and eventually something will come around, or you’ll find more strength within yourself that you were aware of. ❤️
And sometimes what we don't aim for end up happening! Ironically this post has blown up somewhat and delivered all the results I was writing about not hoping for. 😆 I am now trying to enjoy the success of the post, while again not forgetting it's all about continuing down that long road!
The power of connecting with & writing from your essential self. Thanks for sharing your journey & insights with us 🙏
Thank you David for reading and sharing your reaction! ☺️
Be the change you want to see is, I think, the same great advice and I love that I’ve just stumbled upon your reminder today.
I’ve just joined Substack, I’m a bit lost and unsure. I’m not getting much feedback, but don’t feel that I should ask for subscribers. I think they need to find me and vice versa.
A friend, who I’d asked for some editing advice a while back, returned my piece with, “not for me, but I’m sure you’ll find your audience.”
It could just be the same craving for validation; to find out I was right to do it my way, but that still feels more honest. It is my journey, after all.
Hi Stephen, welcome to Substack! I've been around 3.5 years and most days I still don't know what I'm doing. Best of luck and enjoy being the change you want to see.
If you're being “called” by something—then it exists and is calling out to you - what a perfect way to put it. That’s exactly how I felt in November 2023 when the idea for the Slash Career newsletter came to me. It felt so vivid, so powerful, there was no way I could ignore it.
Hope you've been enjoying your journey writing your newsletter!
Great post! I’m writing about helping those in difficult family business situations and have had similar moments of spiraling and being lost.
It’s hard not to chase the dopamine that comes from social validation. I’ve found it best to block out the social metrics to resist the temptation (I.e. remove the mirror in the gym).
Thanks for reading and responding! I find it so difficult to not become addicted to and reliant on social validation. Small steps!
Awesome. Loved that.
Thanks for reading and glad my post resonated!
Another top article! Looks like you found your groove again!
In no small part THANKS TO YOU. Thank you echo chamber.