This post really spoke to me. Like you, I was a super achiever at school, and generally things were great until around the age of 14 when my best friend's family moved away. That's when I noticed I didn't have any other friends and that I was lonely.
Unlike you, I took the choice to improve my social life and dial down on my academic efforts. This included declining an invitation to try out for my country's Math Olympiad team because I wanted to fit in with my classmates. I didn't completely abandon my studies and did go on to university and a decent career, but I haven't achieved anything spectacular and haven't lived up to the expectations many had for me, as I always have prioritised since then maintaining a social life.
I don't regret that as I am for the most part happy now, but I do sometimes wonder what could have been if I had kept the effort up in my studies.But then again, I do remember that the teenage me felt I'd rather be mediocre and have friends than be extremely successful but lonely.
Could I have lived up to my potential while having a good social life? Perhaps there was a way, but I couldn't find that path. This post suggests to me that if I had continued down the path of studying to the exclusion of everything else, I may have had the mental health problems you so bravely talk about, so maybe I should not be so wistful for the life I didn't have.
I think you do not fail. When i left the hospital a few days ago my doctor told me i was lucky to not fall in coma. For the first time ever in my life my condition was bad i can't barely focus on anything more than a few minutes like reading it is a horrific feeling so my perspective does change a bunch in this state and i just point out the stuff that really matters. I thank you for taking time to respond me, with a kind and friendly way. The things that is kind of fun, you probably do not know about it, but we have a commun friend. I am happy you're friend with her🙂 she is awsome! I just wanted to end by saying you do not fail you scored A because you take care of others, being truely smart is maybe just that🙂
Whish you a great week ! And as always i learn a lot with your writing.
This is such a hard lesson to learn and accept. And I know that in times when it’s obvious I can’t control things (like when my own father was very sick) I want more than ever to keep everything under control. Sending you love as you get through this tough week — and weeks to come ❤️
This post really spoke to me. Like you, I was a super achiever at school, and generally things were great until around the age of 14 when my best friend's family moved away. That's when I noticed I didn't have any other friends and that I was lonely.
Unlike you, I took the choice to improve my social life and dial down on my academic efforts. This included declining an invitation to try out for my country's Math Olympiad team because I wanted to fit in with my classmates. I didn't completely abandon my studies and did go on to university and a decent career, but I haven't achieved anything spectacular and haven't lived up to the expectations many had for me, as I always have prioritised since then maintaining a social life.
I don't regret that as I am for the most part happy now, but I do sometimes wonder what could have been if I had kept the effort up in my studies.But then again, I do remember that the teenage me felt I'd rather be mediocre and have friends than be extremely successful but lonely.
Could I have lived up to my potential while having a good social life? Perhaps there was a way, but I couldn't find that path. This post suggests to me that if I had continued down the path of studying to the exclusion of everything else, I may have had the mental health problems you so bravely talk about, so maybe I should not be so wistful for the life I didn't have.
Thank you!
I think you do not fail. When i left the hospital a few days ago my doctor told me i was lucky to not fall in coma. For the first time ever in my life my condition was bad i can't barely focus on anything more than a few minutes like reading it is a horrific feeling so my perspective does change a bunch in this state and i just point out the stuff that really matters. I thank you for taking time to respond me, with a kind and friendly way. The things that is kind of fun, you probably do not know about it, but we have a commun friend. I am happy you're friend with her🙂 she is awsome! I just wanted to end by saying you do not fail you scored A because you take care of others, being truely smart is maybe just that🙂
Whish you a great week ! And as always i learn a lot with your writing.
This is such a hard lesson to learn and accept. And I know that in times when it’s obvious I can’t control things (like when my own father was very sick) I want more than ever to keep everything under control. Sending you love as you get through this tough week — and weeks to come ❤️