Wow, Val! This one is complex and seriously moving! My first thought is wondering what is the time frame… at what point in your own healing did your dad say this. Next thought is that he sure does know how to get your attention! Ouch!!!
And my third thought is to re-read your piece, start to finish. Which I will , but not before getting myself up and going on this Friday in March! Thanks and yes, wow!
I would say I was pretty healed when my dad said this, which is why it was such a shock because his assessment of my (lack of) strength did not match how I saw myself at all. This conversation actually took place only last November, during my most recent visit home, in one of dad's lower moments. A lot of things were said, some were hard to hear, but I'm ultimately glad he got to say what he wanted to say!
Reassurance he's never going to get, because being OK is never guaranteed but that's a whole conversation we can get into when I get that in-person hug!
He would know better than most, since he took it on himself to get you the help you needed when you needed it. I had to hit my dad on the head (not literally) to get him to open his eyes and see that his x-wife was in deep trouble... His reaction was to call my younger brother Dick and let him know that the one we needed to worry about was his sister Holly, not him mum... Once the police got involved he changed his mind. Then he tried using me like a wife, taking charge, giving advise, etc. This was creepy indeed! A kind or recurring story but in different incarnations, over many years.
❤️
My dad was too narcissistic to harbor such thoughts — tho I never felt unloved. More snakey than that ! Haha (today I can laugh but not then!
Some of your messages really move me: this is one of them
Thank you so much for everything you share
Thank you Karim for reading. 😊 And for sharing how my words make you feel!
Wow, Val! This one is complex and seriously moving! My first thought is wondering what is the time frame… at what point in your own healing did your dad say this. Next thought is that he sure does know how to get your attention! Ouch!!!
And my third thought is to re-read your piece, start to finish. Which I will , but not before getting myself up and going on this Friday in March! Thanks and yes, wow!
I would say I was pretty healed when my dad said this, which is why it was such a shock because his assessment of my (lack of) strength did not match how I saw myself at all. This conversation actually took place only last November, during my most recent visit home, in one of dad's lower moments. A lot of things were said, some were hard to hear, but I'm ultimately glad he got to say what he wanted to say!
tough stuff! Guess he wants assurance that you will be OK once he moves on?
Reassurance he's never going to get, because being OK is never guaranteed but that's a whole conversation we can get into when I get that in-person hug!
He would know better than most, since he took it on himself to get you the help you needed when you needed it. I had to hit my dad on the head (not literally) to get him to open his eyes and see that his x-wife was in deep trouble... His reaction was to call my younger brother Dick and let him know that the one we needed to worry about was his sister Holly, not him mum... Once the police got involved he changed his mind. Then he tried using me like a wife, taking charge, giving advise, etc. This was creepy indeed! A kind or recurring story but in different incarnations, over many years.
Fathers & daughters…. Mothers & sons…
One day you and zac may want to share stories…