As the second-generation child of Chinese immigrants to America, and someone who visits China, Hong Kong and America often I have often observed cultural differences such as the one you describe. Throw me some rope here, I am generalizing but the incidents below I personally witnessed.
Within China, there is little regard for others outside of your immediate circle. A cafe owner who didn't bother to build a self-closing door would certainly fall within that category.
I had an incident in China where my mom fell into a ditch in the road because she wasn't paying attention. She ended up with a hairline fracture on her ribs because of this. Some things that she was surprised about but I was not (perhaps because being in the USA for almost 50 years had changed her internal programming): "Why is no one helping us?", she said, to which I replied why would they? It's not their responsibility. No one here knows you except for me. And then it dawned on me, my mom never travels by herself inside China and is almost constantly surrounded by friends and family so her perception is quite different than mine. I almost laughed out loud when she started yelling at the food vendor "I'm going to sue you", to which I replied, "Sue them for what? This is not America! For making food that smelled to good that you neglected to watch where you were going and fell into a ditch?"
While China is most definitely improved since the 1970s when they left, however the competitiveness and desire for profit above all else sometimes brings out some of the worst from people. Examples of this include fake milk formula (adulterated with melamine to increase profit margin), to this day, there are export restrictions for milk formula from Hong Kong to prevent mainland Chinese from taking too much of the local trusted Hong Kong supply. Gutter oil that is harvested from fryers and sewer drains to refine and re-use continues to be a problem.
But I digress, this was originally a question about doors. To which I pose a simple observation about China. To this day, if you walk into most any restaurant in China, the tissue paper is chargeable. Reason being, if the tissue paper was not chargeable there would be someone who would take all of the tissue paper back home and not care about leaving some for the next person. Where do you think closing a door behind them ranks on their priority list?
There are many places where shop doors close automatically, and indeed some in which it is mandated for fire safety. Perhaps they were just used to doors closing behind them without manual effort.
As a foreigner living in Asia for a long time, I still can't get used to people's habit of living with the open doors, letting their kids to run around the floor without understanding of how it might impacts other neighborhoods lives.
About metaphorical doors you might meant the responsibility of taking your own decisions without blaming/involving others into it. Wasn't it? I would consider the meaning of metaphorical doors differently. If you have your goals, and you achieve them, you close the door and open another doors. Some doors are easy to open and close, however some are hard to both opening and closing. Once you opened it, things remain unrevealed and by closing it you at least will have to keep the key from that door. Then one day you can return and try to open and close it again .
Ahhhahh . Same with physical doors for me. I naturally have a habit to close the door when I enter the place. But if the door itself is hard to both open/close or it just stucks I wouldn't try my best to close it. I guess that's upon repairman work
Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I love what you said about closing doors to one day return to open them. Makes me think that sometimes in life we may not be ready for something, so we have to let it sit undiscovered for a while, then return to tackle it when we're ready. What a great way to think about this!
p.s. Everyone leaving doors open and letting their kids run around would annoy me too. Thankfully this doesn't happen in our small serviced apartment. Though yesterday there were two screaming kids in Winmart that had no concept of personal space and kept trying to push to the till while we were paying, and I had to fight to claim my space. That was annoying!
I can think of one door that we both know of in BKK, that confronts me with this question each time I (recently!) had the pleasure of discovering, thanks to you: one one side, best coffee, one large & generous table to work on, and freezing cold temp which you warned me about. On the other, the sweetest tiny garden with one small table, 4 chairs, leafy plants all around, a pile of empty shoes outside the front door, and one blonde middle-eged cat sleeping deeply while sprawled across one of the 4 chairs... If I leave that door ajar its to let just a touch of warmth inside for anyone not lucky enough to be sitting in one of the other remaining outside chairs... I bet you've done the same, and for the same reason. yes? maybe? possibly? love you Val, and love having you both in my new life here in VN! kisses!
That is one door that never closes! I usually try to close it as best I can because Thais don't seem affected by frigid AC temperatures. But it always springs back just that tiny bit open.
My regular seat is the one right by the door, just inside. And I *do* love feeling the warmth from outside so I would have appreciated you leaving the door slightly ajar!
Lots of love right back at you Holly from both me and Yan. 💞
As the second-generation child of Chinese immigrants to America, and someone who visits China, Hong Kong and America often I have often observed cultural differences such as the one you describe. Throw me some rope here, I am generalizing but the incidents below I personally witnessed.
Within China, there is little regard for others outside of your immediate circle. A cafe owner who didn't bother to build a self-closing door would certainly fall within that category.
I had an incident in China where my mom fell into a ditch in the road because she wasn't paying attention. She ended up with a hairline fracture on her ribs because of this. Some things that she was surprised about but I was not (perhaps because being in the USA for almost 50 years had changed her internal programming): "Why is no one helping us?", she said, to which I replied why would they? It's not their responsibility. No one here knows you except for me. And then it dawned on me, my mom never travels by herself inside China and is almost constantly surrounded by friends and family so her perception is quite different than mine. I almost laughed out loud when she started yelling at the food vendor "I'm going to sue you", to which I replied, "Sue them for what? This is not America! For making food that smelled to good that you neglected to watch where you were going and fell into a ditch?"
While China is most definitely improved since the 1970s when they left, however the competitiveness and desire for profit above all else sometimes brings out some of the worst from people. Examples of this include fake milk formula (adulterated with melamine to increase profit margin), to this day, there are export restrictions for milk formula from Hong Kong to prevent mainland Chinese from taking too much of the local trusted Hong Kong supply. Gutter oil that is harvested from fryers and sewer drains to refine and re-use continues to be a problem.
But I digress, this was originally a question about doors. To which I pose a simple observation about China. To this day, if you walk into most any restaurant in China, the tissue paper is chargeable. Reason being, if the tissue paper was not chargeable there would be someone who would take all of the tissue paper back home and not care about leaving some for the next person. Where do you think closing a door behind them ranks on their priority list?
Wow, Hans. That is illuminating. Thank you for sharing.
There are many places where shop doors close automatically, and indeed some in which it is mandated for fire safety. Perhaps they were just used to doors closing behind them without manual effort.
That would be a good explanation for it! *Make a mental note to spot automatic closing doors when I eventually visit China*
Thank you for reading and sharing your thought Hamish!
As a foreigner living in Asia for a long time, I still can't get used to people's habit of living with the open doors, letting their kids to run around the floor without understanding of how it might impacts other neighborhoods lives.
About metaphorical doors you might meant the responsibility of taking your own decisions without blaming/involving others into it. Wasn't it? I would consider the meaning of metaphorical doors differently. If you have your goals, and you achieve them, you close the door and open another doors. Some doors are easy to open and close, however some are hard to both opening and closing. Once you opened it, things remain unrevealed and by closing it you at least will have to keep the key from that door. Then one day you can return and try to open and close it again .
Ahhhahh . Same with physical doors for me. I naturally have a habit to close the door when I enter the place. But if the door itself is hard to both open/close or it just stucks I wouldn't try my best to close it. I guess that's upon repairman work
Hope I gave my opinion clearly
Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I love what you said about closing doors to one day return to open them. Makes me think that sometimes in life we may not be ready for something, so we have to let it sit undiscovered for a while, then return to tackle it when we're ready. What a great way to think about this!
p.s. Everyone leaving doors open and letting their kids run around would annoy me too. Thankfully this doesn't happen in our small serviced apartment. Though yesterday there were two screaming kids in Winmart that had no concept of personal space and kept trying to push to the till while we were paying, and I had to fight to claim my space. That was annoying!
I can think of one door that we both know of in BKK, that confronts me with this question each time I (recently!) had the pleasure of discovering, thanks to you: one one side, best coffee, one large & generous table to work on, and freezing cold temp which you warned me about. On the other, the sweetest tiny garden with one small table, 4 chairs, leafy plants all around, a pile of empty shoes outside the front door, and one blonde middle-eged cat sleeping deeply while sprawled across one of the 4 chairs... If I leave that door ajar its to let just a touch of warmth inside for anyone not lucky enough to be sitting in one of the other remaining outside chairs... I bet you've done the same, and for the same reason. yes? maybe? possibly? love you Val, and love having you both in my new life here in VN! kisses!
That is one door that never closes! I usually try to close it as best I can because Thais don't seem affected by frigid AC temperatures. But it always springs back just that tiny bit open.
My regular seat is the one right by the door, just inside. And I *do* love feeling the warmth from outside so I would have appreciated you leaving the door slightly ajar!
Lots of love right back at you Holly from both me and Yan. 💞
p.s. You have a Substack!