Last September, I wrote about how I found it difficult to keep going when I don’t see the results of my efforts. I used my body and working out as a counter-example: I see the fruits of my labour when I look in the mirror, which motivates me to turn up to my 9am workouts, which helps me shed more flab, which provides yet more motivation—a virtuous cycle.
More than a year later, this example still rings true. I still like my reflection, which still motivates me to show up at my gym, week after week. My exercise routine is as robust as ever, however my body looks no different. I’m not more toned, my tummy bulges as it has for three decades, I put on weight when travel disrupts my workouts. There has been no progress.
And I only just realised why when I had my annual health check this week.
The wrong motivation
Your good cholesterol is up, the doctor runs her finger down my itemised test results. I allow myself a tiny smile. So is your bad cholesterol. My smile vanishes. You need to be more careful about what you eat: deep fries, stir fries… she trails off and gives me a stern look. I nod sheepishly.
When all the results have been read out, I find myself healthy, but my cholesterol isn’t the only thing that’s up. So is my uric acid: 4.5 where the normal range is 2.6-6, up from last year’s 4.3.
And the explanation is simple: I haven’t been careful with what I eat. I make conscious choices and don’t indulge mindlessly, but I still indulge intentionally—red meat, alcohol, oily stir fries—and too often, as my results show.
These food indulgences are the culprit for mirror me’s lack of progress. My workouts have made me stronger—I can lift heavier and no longer get bothersome neck pains—but any appearance gains I might have had are all undone by my “occasional” indulgences. I work out enough, I’d tell myself, I deserve this titchy brownie.
Whenever I’m tempted to order fries or a second beer, or buy a bag of crisps for Netflix’ing at home, I justify my decisions with: I haven’t had fries in a while, a little indulgence won’t hurt, I can lose this weight later. And then I order the fries and drink the beers and munch the crisps. Then for the next week, I watch what I eat and sure enough when I next step on my smart scale I’m delighted to discover I haven’t put on weight. No harm done, excellent. I have my cake and ate it too.
As it turns out, losing weight and looking better were good motivations for exercising. But terrible motivations for eating well.
The right motivation changes everything
The right motivation for eating well came to me as I was chastened by the disapproving doctor. And I’m embarrassed by how simple it is.
The right motivation for eating well isn’t to lose weight, or to look better—these are desirable side effects. The right motivation for eating well is to, quite simply, be healthy.
The second I had this realisation, everything changed. I’m now appalled by all the crap I used to put in my body by way of indulgence. I want instead to feed it only goodness—foods that will help me live long and prosper. When I ponder whether to order that delectable Kobe steak, the question is no longer “Will I gain weight?” but “Will this give me gout?” And it’s far easier to skip the juicy steak—rare, please—when the potential consequence is excruciating pain as opposed to flabby arms.
With the right motivation, eating well is no longer a challenge. It’s early days, but I feel different. My resolve is far stronger, and I’m no longer tempted by the usual culprits—that ice-cold beer at the end of a long work day, the snacks shelf at the supermarket. I’ve simply lost the desire to eat anything that will translate into higher “bad” readings on my chart next year—I’m repelled by it.
This small mindset shift has made such a difference to my eating habits that I wonder which other endeavours in my life are currently hampered by me having the wrong motivations for them, and what right motivations I can find that will guarantee success.
Do I have the right motivations for doing my job? For making friends? For writing this newsletter? For visiting my parents twice a year? I’d like to think that I do.
Then again, for over a year I thought I had the right motivations for eating well... and got absolutely nowhere. In fact, now that I think about it, losing weight and looking better are also lousy motivations for working out. What will happen once I reach my weight goal, own that coveted body? Far better to exercise just to “be healthy.” That way, I’ll continue to be motivated until the day I die.
Time to get out my little notebook and do a motivation analysis for everything I want to accomplish in life. Will you join me?
What do you think?
This week’s question calls for painful honesty:
What “wrong” motivations might you have in life?
What motivates you to work, form relationships, live healthily? What other better motivations can you find for the endeavours you’re struggling to make progress on? Please hit “reply” or leave a comment—I read every response and I’d love to hear from you. If you want, share this with someone who’ll thank you for it.
Until next Friday… Stay thoughtful,
Val
Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash