Full disclosure: I’ve been a people manager for all of three weeks, and my “team” is one part-time assistant.
But I’m convinced I’ve cracked the code: the elusive grail of what makes a good manager.
And it’s so simple I can’t believe people don’t already know this—yet “management” books still sell and “management” training remains mandatory.
You won’t be needing those any longer, though, because I’m about to tell all in 500 words or less.
Strap in.
What makes a good manager
A month ago, I got promoted. I was to expand my scope beyond Mark’s weekly newsletter and take on more marketing responsibilities. To facilitate this move, Mark paused, I was to be given an assistant.
I was ecstatic. For months, I’d been wanting someone to take over my routine tasks so I had more time for “strategy.” But more than that, ever since my first corporate job, I’d wanted to be a people manager—so I could shape my team’s lives the way all my amazing bosses shaped mine. Well here’s your chance. Mark laughed.
Now we’ll know if I’m a sh*t or great boss! I declared with complete confidence, the kind only ignorance breeds.
Mark looked amused. I have someone who’ll be perfect for you. Do you want her to start immediately? No, I replied, give me a week.
With one week to prepare, I asked all the people managers I know and respect for advice. Former bosses, friends leading teams, colleagues and even Mark himself. Everyone gave solid suggestions. A few book recommendations—this one’s a classic for first-time managers; this is the best management book I’ve read.
But nothing quieted my anxieties: Is she the right person for the job? Will she follow instructions? How do I set her up for success? What do I say when I meet her for the first time? What if she hates me!!
My week passed in a state of heightened tension until, a few days before my assistant’s start date, I heard back from a former boss I’d messaged earlier in the week (hi Agnes!): No advice from me, just treat her the way you’d like to be treated.
Agnes’ non-advice resonated. Treat her the way I’d like to be treated.
And so, with this maxim mentally on repeat, I dove head-first into the realm of people management.
And… that’s all there is to it
Once I’d had my kick-off call with my assistant, all my anxieties dissolved. And the past three weeks of managing her have been zero stress and all delight.
Because, as soon as she came on the call—how excited she was to be on our team—I realised “people management” is a myth: there is no such thing.
There is just another person who you’re going to have to learn to work with the same way you learnt to work with all the other people you’ve ever worked with: colleagues, bosses, stakeholders, clients. They just happen to report to you, and so you have the additional responsibility of ensuring their success.
And… that’s it.
There is no: you must establish trust, you must delegate effectively, you must create a team culture, you must exercise your authority sparingly. There is no textbook to read, no course to take, no lesson to learn.
There is only: how would I like to be treated? And then doing just that.
By answering this single question, I was able to make all the preparations and decisions that have led to my assistant, three weeks in, already thriving.
It does help that my assistant is amazing—Mark was right when he said she was perfect—but I’m confident that even if she wasn’t, I’d be able to make all the decisions I need to make as her manager by simply asking myself, at every turn, how I’d like to be treated.
And that’s all there is to it.
What do you think?
Take my “management advice” with a grain of salt. But I really do think I’m onto something.
What’s your secret to people management?
Let’s spill all so we can, each one of us, be amazing bosses. Hit “reply” or leave a comment—I read every response and I’d love to hear from you. If you want, share this post with someone who’s an amazing manager so they can tell me if I’m full of—
Until next Friday… Stay thoughtful, and don’t overthink it,
Val