I'm angry at you Val - you didn't share your wisdom sooner, hehe. It's a great read, relatable to the core. The only difference for me is mainly in that sense of expecting to do something wrong. That I'm responsible for making them feel certain negative emotions.
I also like that you actively fight this fear. Not many people is aware enough to know what's the best method for them. My method is often run or silence myself to fight back haha.
How are you able to respond better in situations where this thinking pattern appears again?
Hahah NOOOO don’t be angry with me 🥹 Thank you for sharing your reaction! Happy to hear you relate!
These days, and this happened again just yesterday, when I think “did I make X angry?“ I tell myself: “I’m not responsible for their anger.” and that helps a little bit. I still worry, but telling myself I’m not responsible helps me put that worry aside a little more easily. And eventually my mind focuses on other things and I forget. In fact I remembered just now, writing this, I was worried about making my mum angry last night. But this morning I was so focused on other things I even forgot to check her reply! PROGRESS.
It's like we hit invisible walls when it happens. But the more we are aware, the easier for our mind to practice to not take so much energy from our daily life.
Just so you can relax: I am not angry! But I know this feeling and it has plagued me for a very long time too (sometimes it comes back). Not sure where I picked it up. One thing that helps me is framing that anger as the other's person problem and responsibility. So that whenever I am about to do something that might make, in my head, the other person angry - I try to go like "well, it's their problem if they get upset. They should know better, than to be so close-minded and immature." I hope that can help you alleviate some of that anxiety!
I'm angry at you Val - you didn't share your wisdom sooner, hehe. It's a great read, relatable to the core. The only difference for me is mainly in that sense of expecting to do something wrong. That I'm responsible for making them feel certain negative emotions.
I also like that you actively fight this fear. Not many people is aware enough to know what's the best method for them. My method is often run or silence myself to fight back haha.
How are you able to respond better in situations where this thinking pattern appears again?
Hahah NOOOO don’t be angry with me 🥹 Thank you for sharing your reaction! Happy to hear you relate!
These days, and this happened again just yesterday, when I think “did I make X angry?“ I tell myself: “I’m not responsible for their anger.” and that helps a little bit. I still worry, but telling myself I’m not responsible helps me put that worry aside a little more easily. And eventually my mind focuses on other things and I forget. In fact I remembered just now, writing this, I was worried about making my mum angry last night. But this morning I was so focused on other things I even forgot to check her reply! PROGRESS.
It's like we hit invisible walls when it happens. But the more we are aware, the easier for our mind to practice to not take so much energy from our daily life.
At the end of the day I think the most worthy goal to always strive for is to be present!
Just so you can relax: I am not angry! But I know this feeling and it has plagued me for a very long time too (sometimes it comes back). Not sure where I picked it up. One thing that helps me is framing that anger as the other's person problem and responsibility. So that whenever I am about to do something that might make, in my head, the other person angry - I try to go like "well, it's their problem if they get upset. They should know better, than to be so close-minded and immature." I hope that can help you alleviate some of that anxiety!
Thank you for sharing! The responsibility reframe definitely helps. And… I am beginning to think this trait of mine may not be a quirk after all!